Testimonies

I am thankful to be off the streets

I have been to the Mission seven times. Every time I left the Mission, I swore to myself I could make it in the real world. But eventually I kept finding myself right back where I started, homeless, broke, hungry, and panhandling to keep a roof over our head and food in our bellies!

Being a homeless mother with children is extremely difficult! The depression overwhelms you once you are homeless, and without God, it is impossible to get out! It is exhausting being homeless!

Last November I hit rock and had given up on life. Then I joined the Mission’s New Life Program and my life turned around.

Unlike last Thanksgiving, I have much to be thankful for. I am thankful I am clean and sober, my children are safe and loved, I have real friends I can count on, and I am very close to God. I am thankful I no longer have to beg for food for my children or wonder where they will sleep. I am thankful I don’t have to panhandle or hear my daughter say, ‘Why can’t we be like normal kids?’ I am thankful I have a home and that my daughter is in school! But most important, I am thankful my children know God, pray, and tell their friends about God.

I appreciate the Mission and everyone who makes this place possible. Without the Modesto Gospel Mission I would have lost my kids. THANK YOU!!!-Cheri

A Safe Haven

As a child, I was molested by my brother’s father. He was convicted of multiple counts, but my mom never believed it. When he got out of jail, she married him. He continued to molest my sister, and my mom finally left him.

Most of my childhood, I was teased by my peers. I was overweight and had very low self esteem.

I was kick out of my house at 17. So, I moved in with my grandmother.

I got a really good job in the Bay Area. I loved my job, and got paid well too. Then, I began dating a man who was very abusive. He wouldn’t leave me alone. I got a restraining order against him, but that didn’t work. He would break into my house, he kicked my car door in, slashed my tires, and would call my job multiple times a day-threatening me. Once he had me followed and robbed. The State relocated me, but since I kept my job he was able to find me. The harassment continued, and my employer had no choice but to terminate me.

I became homeless on the streets of San Francisco. I started doing drugs and got pregnant. My mother took me back in while I had my child.

I came to the Modesto Gospel Mission three months ago. It was the best thing I ever did. For the first time in my life I feel safe. I am not depressed, being molested, abused, teased, or living on the streets. It has changed my life completely. Now my daughter is not around fighting, she is well fed, clothed, attends nightly children’s services, gets to play with other children, and be a kid dancing and singing. Letting God control your life opens your heart. You begin to love, forgive, and trust again. I am grateful for life instead of complaining. I AM NOT SAD! GOD IS GOOD!!!-Wendy

Transformation

I grew up in a very poor and broken home. When I was four years old, my parents got a divorce. My mother tried to protect me by telling me my father was working out of town and would be home soon. But, by the time I was nine, I figured out he wasn’t coming home. That’s when I began to rebel.

I used drugs to rid myself of the pain and hurt. I did this as often as possible because that was the only time I felt good. I shoplifted to support my habit. Drugs began to control my life. I was kicked out of numerous schools. As I grew older, somehow I had a tiny bit of hope that things might change, but sadly things just got worse.

I was arrested for a very serious crime. I was looking at 35 years to life in prison. The judge sentenced me to five years and two months. While in prison I began realizing all the evil things I had done, and I went into a state of depression. These condemning thoughts consumed me. My next thought was to end my life by jumping off the second tier. Right before I jumped, I felt an overwhelming presence that stopped me from killing myself. I believe it was an angel. After that, I felt healed and forgiven. I began to cry and thank God for this experience. As the years passed, I began to see my actions change. I no longer had the desire to do bad things.

I came to the Mission when I was released from prison. I have been here for 20 months. I am clean and sober from drugs and violence. I am in recovery, anger management, and

forgiveness classes. I am enrolled in college full time, and have a bright hope for my future. I am a living testament that

changing one’s self is certainly possible with God in your life.

– Jaime Pompa

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the

old had gone, the new has come!

2 Corinthians 5:17

Acceptance for who I am

When I was eight years old, I witnessed my Grandmother shoot my Grandfather. One day after school, I went over to their house and heard arguing coming from inside. As I entered, my Grandmother, a Satanist, shot my grandfather in the back of the head.

I subconsciously blocked the shooting from my memory, and thought my life with my mother was fine. Then she brought home a boyfriend, and things began to change. He treated both of us very poorly, and I couldn’t understand why she tolerated him. She seemed to choose him over me.

My relationship with my mother turned from love to hate. At 17, I began working as a

custodian. My mother would steal my paychecks from the mailbox, forge them, and keep the money. She said because I lived with her, everything I had was hers. This was the last straw, I just couldn’t take it anymore; so one day after work, I got to the mailbox first, cashed my check, and ran away.

My life was a mess! I was very depressed and suicidal. I became addicted to cutting myself. I attempted to commit suicide several times. I also studied paganism, and cast spells. Deep down, I knew there was a God, but I just ignored it.

Unable to support myself, I jumped from program to program, lying my way in, just to get a roof over my head. Eventually I would get kicked out. During one of my stays, I was diagnosed with Dystymia, a long term depression brought on by childhood trauma. Finally, I began to get treatment. Then, I tried to commit suicide, and they kicked me out of the program.

With no place to turn, I slept in the park for the night. The next day, homeless and hungry I came to the Mission for emergency shelter.

I found healing and love at the Modesto Gospel Mission. Upon arrival, one of the program men told me about the program, and I decided to check it out. During the interviewing process, I discovered I did not need to lie to get in. They would accept me for who I was, and not judge me.

I found out that the people here really do care about me! I’m experiencing the grace and love of Christ. And for the first time in my life, I feel secure and have hope for my

future. God Bless-Jerry Yates

Time To Celebrate

A few years ago I was homeless, broken and destitute. With nowhere to go, I came to the Mission.

I wasn’t high on drugs or alcohol, but lost my school grants and the ability to stay in College.

I was severely depressed. I remember thinking, is this what life is all about? If it was, I didn’t want any part of it. Suicide seemed the next logical step. I almost ended my life in front of a train. I was put in a behavior center for three days, then released back onto the streets. That’s where I found out where to get a warm meal and shelter for the night.

My first night at the Mission, I attended chapel service. I noticed men wearing green shirts. They seemed to be monitors, and I wondered how I could do that too. They were on the New Life Program, a program to help turn your life around. That’s what I needed, to be rescued, and I immediately joined.

The program taught me it is never too late to begin living a happy and productive life. God will guide and direct your path, but you have to open your heart and allow Him to do so.

Recently, I graduated from the New Life Program. I have a good job, a place to live, and I plan to go back to College next fall. I thank the Mission for introducing me to our Lord and Savior. But I give all the glory, honor, and praise to God our Father for the bright future that lays ahead of me.-Michael Camp

A Series of Tragic Events

My mom was a drug addict, so I had to raise myself. She was always so loaded, I not only had to care for myself, but her too. By the time I was 10, I had enough. I was tired of being a caretaker for my non-functioning mother.

I ran away from home and began to rebel. I would run away for weeks at a time, and get loaded. My mother would promise to change, and I would come back home. Things would be alright for a little while, then she would go right back to her old ways. And so would I.

My mother sent me to live with my father, and things were great for about a year. I was starting to see what it was like to have a normal childhood.

Then, my father died. He took my brother and me on a canoeing trip. The canoe tipped over. My brother saved my life, but we couldn’t help my father. My dad died right in front of us.

I became very bitter at the world. I was extremely unruly. I got suspended from school on a weekly basis. By age 16, I had been expelled from 6 schools, and became a drug addict like my mother.

I found my mother dead from a drug overdose. After this, I felt I had nothing else to live for.

I tried to kill myself. Two days later my aunt found me unconscious, and took me to the hospital. I was hours from death.

For the next two years, I went crazy. I began to live each day as if it were my last. I did as many drugs as I could get, and wrote phony checks to pay for my lifestyle. I was in and out of jail for the next year. I got so tired, of being sick and tired. I asked my counselor where I could get help, and she told me about the Mission.

When I got out of jail I came to the Mission, and I love it!!! I have a new best friend, GOD. I am remembering who I am, and that I have a purpose for my life. I have an inner peace in my mind and heart. Now I am truly learning to live my life.

-Stacia Lafferty

Time to try it God’s way

I came from an alcoholic family. My parents fought all the time. At 13 I began drinking and doing drugs. A year later my father died, which made my mother drink and yell even more. I couldn’t handle

living at home, so I left with only the clothes on my back, and my guitar.

I earned a living by playing the guitar at a local shopping area. I made enough to cover my habit. Usually someone would feel sorry for me, take me home, feed me, and give me a place to stay. One couple invited me home and unofficially adopted me. They were in a local motorcycle club. They taught me the ropes of making and distributing drugs. It wasn’t long

before I went to jail.

The courts sent me back home to live with my mother. I

finished high school and married a wonderful lady. We did drugs recreationally, but I held down a good job as a cabinet maker. We were married 12 years when I caught her cheating on me. We separated, and 5 months later she was killed in an automobile

accident. I didn’t find out she was dead until two weeks later. I tried to get my children back from their Grandparents, but it was a huge fight. And, I knew my kids were better off with their grandma, than a drug addicted biker.

For the next 20 years I was in and out of prison. The last time I was in prison I met a convict doing life. He was a born again Christian, and taught me a lot about God. After being released, I led a good life as a trucker, got married, and thought I was happy. But 2 years later, I started doing drugs again.

It was time to seek help. After countless times in jail, several failed marriages, and trying to quit drugs on my own, I just couldn’t do it! So, I came to the Mission for help. At the age of 52, I am finally learning how to live a life worth living!!! Amen!

Since I have come to the mission, the most incredible thing has happened. I received a phone call from my children, who I

haven’t seen in 20 years. They have been looking for me for over 10 years. And they found me, here at the mission. We have

reconciled and speak once a week. God is so good. I praise God and the Mission for giving me back my life.-Jim Ewers

I'm Not Giving Up!!!

I grew up in a home that, from the outside, many envied. My mother was an actress and singer. My father was a developer. But in reality, it was a dysfunctional family. Being raised by nannies gave me all the free time I needed to get into trouble.

At 14, I began playing in a rock band and doing drugs. My drug use was mainly recreational. For the next 15 years I held down a job, played in a band, had boyfriends, a pretty normal life; until the drugs started taking over my life. I began calling in sick to work more and more. Until I got fired.

I knew it was time to seek help. I went through a 12 step program, and got clean and sober for a little while. But as soon as a series of tragic family events occurred, I turned right back to drugs, the only comforter I knew, and I got addicted to gambling.

I heard great things about the Modesto Gospel Mission. So here I am. I am not going to give up until I get it right. Each day here, focusing on God is nothing short of amazing. I love it here at the mission. I am on the worship team, I get to help people, and serve God. The joy of the Lord is welling up inside me, and is beginning to flow out. I am so grateful for the mission, and a fresh start.-Julie Eichler

I Am Thankful For Love

I was a latchkey kid growing up. Although I came from a good home, my parents were busy working to put food on the table, and clothes on our backs. I had a lot of time without adult supervision, and began getting into trouble at an early age.

I began smoking pot and selling drugs by 15. I also had a job, but my interest in school was non existent. I hardly ever went, and nobody seemed to even noticed. My only interest were drugs, playing the guitar, then later the drums.

I was blessed by God with the gift of music. But at the time I didn’t know it. For 14 years I played in different bands, but the drugs and broken friendships were just too much to handle.

I got out of the music industry, and began to manage for a professional wrestling company. I got back into drugs and lost all desire to do anything. I had hit rock bottom.

I moved back to Modesto, quit doing drugs, and got married. Our marriage wasn’t working out, so I left and came to the Mission for a place to stay. That is the first time I heard about God.

I joined the Mission’s New Life Program. I graduated high school, was clean and sober, went to church regularly, but after 10 months I had to leave to take care of my sick wife.

After leaving the Mission we fell on real hard times. Although we were going to church regularly, and I was even on the worship team, I started losing faith in God.

Our marriage was ripped apart, and I was thrown out of my house. Then I realized I had turned away from God. I prayed for forgiveness, and asked for direction.

I was tired of just getting by, so I returned to the Mission to finish my program. I am so thankful for the spirit and love of God that flows through the Mission. And to be able to finally able to use my talents to glorify God through the music ministry at the Mission. I have learned a very important lesson, not to lose faith in God for he is always faithful to us.-Sean Kirkland

Taking Back My Life

I was molested as a child by my stepfather. When I got into high school I started acting out, drinking and getting into trouble. My mother took me to see a psychiatrist to find out why I was so unruly. That’s when it came out I was being molested.

Charges were pressed against my stepfather. That was the hardest time in my life! I was on the stand for 3 days. Then, he got off on all counts. I couldn’t believe it, after all I had been through. That’s when I went over the edge and started doing drugs.

I moved in with my boyfriend and got pregnant, after graduating high school. A few years later we moved to Texas. One evening he came home drunk and beat me up in front of my 5 year old daughter. I called my mom, and she arranged for us to come home.

I moved back home with my mother and enrolled in school to become a medical assistant. After I graduated, I started to become seriously depressed. I became a drunk, and I received two D.U.I.’s during this time. I was completely out of control!

My mother kicked me out of the house, took guardianship of my daughter, and dropped me off at the mission. It was a real wake up call when I found out I was endangering my daughter, as well as myself.

I am now on the mission’s New Life Program. Since I have come to the mission, I have God in my life. I am clean and sober. I have forgiven my stepfather. I am gaining trust and respect from my family. And I get to see my daughter every other weekend.

I am a much happier person since I found God. I feel I have a chance in life. I am not depressed, and want to live. My mother is very proud of me, and she can’t wait to see me graduate the program.-Kristine Hall

A Changed Life

I began smoking pot at the age of eight! Hanging around kids older than myself, I began doing drugs at an early age. I would sneak cough syrup and alcohol whenever possible. By age 14, I was shooting dope.

I shot up for over 35 years!

My life consisted of getting into trouble, being homeless or in jail, and doing drugs.

Over time, my drug abuse caught up with me. I contracted Hepatitis C. I also had cellulites in my feet, and was in and out of the hospital 17 times in 41/2 years.

I was sick and tired of the life I was living, so I came to the mission. Having no place to turn after being released from the hospital, a friend told me about the mission. He explained the program, and how it was helping him. I knew that was where I needed to go. With my feet still bleeding, I walked to the mission for help.

I have learned so much coming to the mission.

Coming from a Jewish background, I was completely uneducated on Christ. I knew there was a God, but I did not know our Messiah had come, and how good he is! I asked Jesus to be Lord of my life on January 10th, and I have never been so happy.

I have a changed life.

My cellulites is gone, and they cannot find Hepatitis C in my bloodstream. I know God healed me, and I thank Him for that. Most important, I have a purpose for my life. I have love, acceptance, and peace. Not from drugs, but from God.

I am so grateful for the mission. If they hadn’t taken me in, I know I would probably be dead.-Mark Selditch.

Learning Boundaries

I was born into an affluent family. I lived a life many envied. From the outside everything seemed beautiful, but in reality dysfunction had become a family tradition. Nothing short of excellence was expected, and failure was unacceptable. The fact that several children in our home were being molested, was dealt with quietly, we had no support to deal with our hurt and confusion. I turned to drugs and lost myself in music.

I had no boundaries. If I ever got in trouble or confronted by the police, my family would take care of it. I never had to take responsibility for my actions, so I took full advantage of that.

Rebellion was my middle name. I immersed myself in my lifestyle. My parents were appalled by my behavior, needless to say the disgust was mutual. I resented all they stood for, yet reaped the benefits of the wealth. Despite my drug use, I stayed in school. In my final year of college, I met a gentleman, and six months later got married. We had two children who meant the world to me. Although our life was great together, I felt empty, like something was missing.

I went back to the music industry. Due to my lifestyle, I lost my husband of 14 years and my two beautiful girls. I set up trust funds for my kids, and gave up my inheritance. Having no money was an uncomfortable position of reality, which I was not prepared. My ex-husband and kids moved to California, and I never felt so alone! Without my daughters, I had no interest to write, play, or sing music again. I gave up music, and left to be closer to my kids. But six months later my ex-husband moved again. This broke my heart! I couldn’t afford to relocate a second time.

I was not equipped to live in the real world. My utter lack of responsibility had taken its toll. I was broken.

I came to the mission for help! I was lost, alone, and not knowing where I was going, or what I was looking for. Now I know! God has a plan for me, and a purpose for my life. I am learning how to take responsibility for my life, and my decisions. My daughters have forgiven me, I have reconciled with my family, and music is something I can again think about. God is good...All the time! -Rhonda Dolan

Growing up on my own

When I was eight years old my mother died from complications during surgery.

It was difficult after she was gone. I was sad and hurt, but she had brought me up with a strong Christian background, which made it a little easier. At least I still had my sister, brother, and my father. He was such a great guy. My dad taught Babe Ruth baseball, and umpired games for a living.

Then, a bomb was found in the back seat of my fathers car. Luckily it didn't go off. An investigation pursued, but they had no leads. My dad would joke around and say he must have made a bad call in little league.

A few months later disaster struck! My father was blown up in the car, coming back from Turlock. I was devastated!!! I cried for months. I was so mad at God. Why did he take the two most important people in my life away from me? From that day on, the world as I knew it changed.

I went completely out of control. My grandparents tried to take care of us children for a few months, but they couldn't handle us. Then my 18 year old sister took guardianship of me. I ran with gangs, and got into so much trouble. But I didn’t care if I lived or died.

I began selling drugs, and went to prison. When I was released I bounced from house to house, getting caught up in the homeless rut. I had no place to stay, no purpose for my life, so I came to the mission.

Now I am here to change my life! I want to stop hanging around the wrong people, and live without chaos. I want to live a life of peace, with God. Please pray for me. -Clinton Botteron

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.
Proverbs 22:6

People here actually love me!

Ever since I was a little girl I felt unloved, inadequate, and overweight. I began taking diet pills at a very young age, because I thought I was fat. Soon after, I began drinking with my friends, which led to more drug use. I became dependent on the diet pills, later becoming addicted to speed, marijuana, and alcohol. I got married and had children. My husband introduced me to a harder drug called crank. I began manufacturing it, which lead to my arrest. I was sentenced to three years in prison, but released after one and a half years.

When I was released from prison, I was able to stay clean for a little while. Then, I went right back to the mess I was in before I went to prison. My life was a living nightmare.

All I cared about was drugs. I couldn't hold down a job, or even take care of my 7 year old son. This was the lowest of my 7 year old son. This was the lowest point of my life! My family told me I could not live with them anymore, and they were not going to support me any longer. My brother in law told me about the mission, and brought me here.

I came to the mission completely broken. I had never felt so depressed in my entire life. I truly felt I had no hope, no future, and no purpose for my life. I had no self esteem, and I was thinking of committing suicide.

Coming to the mission has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Everyone here loves me so much. I love the mission, and the people. I now know God has a purpose for my life, and that Jesus loves me very much. I plan on staying with my program until I graduate; then I will see what God has planned for me. I know that God will give me the desires of my heart, in His perfect timing. -Jill Souza